being addicted to talking to someone...
miss talkin to that person even if u did chatted a few hours ago...
hopin to see this person everydae...

i dunnoe about u...
but tt's wt i feel...
if things shldn't turn out lyk this...
den stop...
BUT again...
i don't want this to stop...
c0s' i tink i'll juz die if eveything just stops all of a sudden...
i'm confused...
very confused...

in the end..
i still can't manage to run away frm doin' bio spa...haha..
c0s' ah bern's internet kee siao...
aniwae...gd thing tt i'm done wif it..
clears a lil' of the load off my mind... =)

did chem and maths tut...
tml will be chem SPA muggin day..
meaning tt...if i want to do proposal..
i must finish it by 2dae...
i dunno lehz...
i'm oso confused by the proposal thing...
this time nat is stupid k...haha...

and i juz realised tt ...
no matter where u put xk in...
if u follow him...
u'll end up lost...
haha...it' juz suddenly struck me...
when i was storytelling to SY...=P
tt time nite cyclin oso..
now ubin oso..
haha...

i feel so screwed aft finding out tt all bio SPA stuffz r nt wif me....
g0sh! i can't believe i cld have 4gotten bout it...
but well, lucky SY's goin' back m'sia...
if nt i'll juz kill myself...

i'm a roasted pig now...
so horribly sun burnt!
i hate the Ubin sun...
haha...it's exceptionally HOT and STRONG!

ever seen a pig wearing sun glasses??
haha..i saw it durin' reece at ubin..haha...

aniwae..we cycled the whole ubin...
and i almost died..well..practically dyin' now la...
it's worse than nite cycling...
the ubin terrain is horrible...
the worst was my choice 2 go wif xk all the way to some ulu OBS place..
it almost killed me...
the ride was daMn long....plus the upslopes and stuffz...
my quads. are missing already...

i so dunnoe wt else 2 do 4 proposal...
someone..pls hlp me!!!!
and i'll go 2 slp once my hair is dry....
PROMISE! =)
i tink my hair will dry at abt 10 plus...=P

i'm in love..FINALLY...
with a Jay song(gui ji)..haha..
woeilin...u shld feel happy 4 me!!! =)

i'm SUPER tired...

2dae had TAF camp for J1s...
did the wadeva station thing again...
kinda sian....
hai...the J1s...some v.nice ar...
but the guys r lyk horrible...esp those tt r pro in gym one...
aniwae..i shan't complain much bout them...nt v.pissed...
i oso heck..

aft tt was meeting...
ok la...
proposalin' n0w l0r...
but i tink i'll juz do a lil' lar...
confirm wun't b able 2 finish one aniwae...
and i set my own deadline on wed...

there's still bio SPA undone...
and chem SPA on tues...
haiz...

2dae's econs test was...
kinda shitty...
had v.few things 2 write about...
dunnoe muz explain what....
den maths test was ok...
i hope i pass well..
i'd betta man...

tml still muz go 4 reece...
so tired already still ask me 2 go 4 reece...
muz wake up early AGAIN...
and dad's nt fetchin' me...
i hope i don't get lost!!!

this morning was the first time ever...i cried in my sleep...
i was kinda shocked tt i did tt...=P

i was dreamin' bout my dad nt lettin' me go out wif my friends...
then i was tryin' 2 run away frm him...
but in the end i lost...
he kinda did sumtink 2 paralyse me...
den i was super sad...
so i cried...
my dream so evil h0r...haha...

actually tot tt i was juz cryin' in my dreams...
but i juz made myself wake up 2 check if i was really cryin' anot...
haha....aft i woke up...i still con't cryin' for a while...b4 goin' back to slp...haha...

i'm gettin' giddy n0w...
haha....my whole com is shakin'....
c0s' i'm printin the TAF camp proposal...

ok...i'm done printing it...
actually didn't wana come online one l0r...
juz tt i had 2 print proposal...
lucky i gt bored and started read all my messages in the fone...
haha...den saw the msg 2 ask me print proposal..
if nt..i tml die le...=Xx

woei lin asks me to blog..
but i have nuthin' 2 blog...haha...

ok...2dae's sports day...
boring...the gallery was so hot...
the worst was the track was kinda slippery...
with my fallin' down phobia...
i lagged a lil' when startin off..
damn...
though i know wun't win one..
didn't want 2 get last leh...
but nvm...it's juz a race...

aniwaez...
aft tt we wenta library...
sy wanted 2 read blogs...
so i read wif her... =)

then wenta eat...
den went for chem with 76...
g0sh la...76 is realli...
SO TOTALLY different from us...!!!
they're so vocal...almost each and everyone of them...
to a certain extent...quite united...
noisy bunch..
but i bet there's betta joy teachin' a grp of active n responsive students...
rather than the mute and am-i tokin-to-the-wall bunch of students like us ...

i was super tired durin' chem..
dozed off here n there...
ah bern oso...haha...
she kept agreein' with wt ms tan said la...
*i.e. noddin' off the slp...*

when i went hm...rained v.heavily...
eeEee...
as usual...i hate rainy days...
the lightning was so scary la!
=P
so tired...tt i juz slpt lyk a pig! =)
feel so energized now! =)
but muz study 4 econs test...
sIghs...

i guess...this time round...
i realli feel stuck...

it was juz lyk 1 day ago when i was kinda j//k with liming tt i'm stuck...
and now...i realli feel the pinch...
true..y shld we juz get so bothered bout such minor stuffz??

i guess...frm now on...i don't want 2 say a word about anythin'...ANYMORE...
it's TIME...i let go...
i thought everything would be over sooner or later...
but seems lyk...it's bcum worse...
i'm lyk being dragged into the matter juz c0s' i wanted 2 b DE gd person...

it's nt my fault tt i keep tellin' her everythin and make it seem as if i'm sidin' her or wad...
if i didn't...i'll b pestered...
if i didn't...who will...
if i didn't...there wld nt b any hope...
if i didn't...i don't know...
summore...it's the mees that we made...that i had 2 clear...
we can't juz leave it lyk tt...
can we???
prob. nt 4 me...

but i guess...liming's rite...
when it's time 2 let go...i should let go...
when it's not within my control anymore, i should forget it...
when i feel that i can't take it anymore...i should leave everythin as it is....
*c0s' i still nid 2 take my minutes...haha...*

aniwae...i tink it's time 2 let go...
i'm so sorry xl...
i can't hlp u animore...
i juz hope that u'll let it come 2 an end...and just accept whatever has changed...
but don't worry...u can still hang out wif me...when u want to...
just that...i won't say anithin' related 2 THAT issue animore...
c0s' i realise...i'm startin' 2 distort my friendships...
it's realli time i let go...

juz a random post...

it suddenly came 2 me...
how teachers pronounced woeilin's name...
damN funny....
*i'm so sry wl...*
but i juz keep rememberin' hw Ms ng pronounces ur name...
funny n weird... =P
WOEi lin...=P
and usually when teachers first c tt name...
they'll juz stun a lil'...den try 2 pronounce it as best as possible..=P
i wonder y they do tt..
the difficulty of pronouncing her name nvr came to me...

i realise tt i have a bio SPA 2 do again...
plus reece...
then definetely the proposal 1st draft...
and tons of hw yet again...

i so don't want 2 carry on with life...
y muz we b put through such horrible tough measures juz to fight for survival...
if there were a choice...
i wld choose 2 rot in the society...
yes...the thing is...IF there were a choice....
which means ...
i don't have one...

continuation frm my previous post...
i decided to stop, rest a while,
and watch you from afar...
back in reality,
i've decided...
were i to fly again...
i would want you to be by my side...

juz a random post...

it suddenly came 2 me...
how teachers pronounced woeilin's name...
damN funny....
*i'm so sry wl...*
but i juz keep rememberin' hw Ms ng pronounces ur name...
funny n weird... =P
WOEi lin...=P
and usually when teachers first c tt name...
they'll juz stun a lil'...den try 2 pronounce it as best as possible..=P
i wonder y they do tt..
the difficulty of pronouncing her name nvr came to me...

i realise tt i have a bio SPA 2 do again...
plus reece...
then definetely the proposal 1st draft...
and tons of hw yet again...

i so don't want 2 carry on with life...
y muz we b put through such horrible tough measures juz to fight for survival...
if there were a choice...
i wld choose 2 rot in the society...
yes...the thing is...IF there were a choice....
which means ...
i don't have one...

continuation frm my previous post...
i decided to stop, rest a while,
and watch you from afar...
back in reality,
i've decided...
were i to fly again...
i would want you to be by my side...

is that all my wishful thinking
or just a dream that will shatter into pieces once i come back to reality...

u made me fly...
but i didn't teach me how 2 stop...
and i'll just continue flyin'...
just for now...

how i wish i cld just fly foreva...

nowadays my sec sch friends keep askin' me if i have songs and stuffz lyk tt...
funnie and weird...
of all ppl..y me...
nt tt i dun welcome them askin' me 4 songs..
but..it juz happened lyk at the same period of time....so conicidental..
and all askin' for those sung by the campers superstar kids...

aniwae...i finally gt my fone connected 2 the com. once again...
so i can happily load n transfer pics 2 my fone n back!!!
yays!!!

and ah beRn ar...
u horrible gurl...
i tot u gt 300 free smses one...
so bad ar...
dun even wana waste 1 sms for me...
saddened...
=P

yes! i'm done with piloting...but it's lyk only 9pgs leh..
damn short...as compared to the real proposal and stuffz...
tired my best to add in as much crap as i can le...
but most of the crap i considered is kinda irrelevant...
so i juz made do with the 9 pages...
luckily there's my air stewardess (yes...it's stewardess and not steward)...liming..to keep me awake... =)..if nt mayb the airplane crash long long ago le...haha...
thnkz liming.. =)

now it's bio SPA turn...
i'm still stuck with it...and i have to finish it by 2day...
summore still muz present...so nid 2 prepare another set of stuffz..
sian...
but at least i'm finishing the first half already...
and bern ah!...
YES..i'm lyk freaked out tt i still gt a lot of things 2 complete even aft u guys did somemore during the break aft sch...

so tired now...

JJ came back 2dae...=)
was surprised tt the hall wasn't fully filled...
but it was quite ok filled la...
i shan't comment bout the thing...
if nt ppl will start sayin' me again...
i juz wana tell tt stupid cameraman tt block my view...
to GO AND DIE pls!!!!
idiot leh!!!
block me lyk nobody's business...wth...

aniwae...apart frm tt...
someone was complaining tt we shld hav went 2 fitness instead of the JJ thing...
BUT...lyk it's a once in a lifetime thing ...well..for me la...
and it's a privillege..
so...tt overrules EVERYTHIN...

2dae i went 2 the world's horriblest hawker centre...haha...
nt realli la...i tink it's ok...juz tt we went at the wrong time...
had 2 wait SUPER LONG for food...c0s' they kinda 4gt...plus they made wrongly oso..
den there were several blackouts...
i tink abt 4-5 times...
crazy one la..

i'm so deaded...
gt fitness proposal 2 do...
plus my bio pract skill A...
which is somewhat..another proposal..
sIanz...
i gt no more holiday le...

my whole body's coming apart...

a few weeks ago...
i had a loose backbone...
a few days ago...
i had shoulders...
just yest. during PE...i dunnoe wt i did...*mayb too mani push ups...*
i ended up with a loose left wrist...*well...tt's nt uncommon...had always been lyk tt....*
then now...
my right elbow...

my whole body is coming apart!!!

nowadays when i run..
my legs will always b so pain durin the run...
wad's happening to me...

nxt...is something which doesn't realli concern me..c0s' i'm nt frm tt CCA....
but it kinda upsets me..c0s' it upsetted woeilin...
abt some guitar costume thing...
i wun't realli do much into the details...
but...yes...i know it's nt ade's fault..
and i am nt blaming her or wad k...
juz tt...they HAD a committee for the costume thing...
and throw everythin' 2 ade...
quite 'immoral'....
plus ade having to run ard the whole of S'pore 2 search for sumtink gd...almost all by herself...
i know it's daMn tedious...
so part of this i understand...
but on the other hand..
she shld have also considered abt the sizes of everyone...
i tink...if her committee had helped her...
a better job cld have bin done...
aniwae...wad's done is done...
so..i tink woeilin shld juz forget bout guitar nite and nt go 4 it man...
me and my evil thoughts...
and my poor woeilin...
indulgin herself in ice cream c0s' of this...
haiz...
though she dosen't realli express it out...and it seems as if she doesn't care...
i can figure out tt...the way she's acting to such situations and stuffz lyk tt..
i believe it realli mattered to her....be it the costume or participating in guitar nite...

ice cream eatin' :: a way to temporarily set aside mild depression...

thanks to the newspaper, SAJC staff, and tt petition thing...
i finally knew how to break the horrible, unacceptable news of my PW grade to my parents...
first thing when i went home...
my bro asked my...'...u know what i will want to ask u...what's ur answer...'
so i juz replied...3...
c the ease?? i didn't even have to say anithin' much...
i so thank the KPOs that wrote tt article..
so that in the end i'll save myself some explanation...and irritatin questions that my mum will bombard me with...

the best/worst thing is...
they wasn't angry or disappointed with my results...
they just told me 2 work harder for As and get 4As...
BUT...i know they surely will b upset 2 a certain extent...
can't b i'm in only one in the whole family that thinks in such a way rite....
AND...my bro oso supported me 2 sign the petition thing l0r! haha... =)

everytime i get such shit results..
and my parents tell me it's ok.
i jus feel so bad...
it seems as if i'm the onli one puttin that great amount of pressure on myself..

aniwae...after all these...
this is my 'evaluation'
the definition of cryin in io terms: some form of excretion..
the defn. of cryin in LCS's terms: a total waste of time which doesn't help u solve any of ur problems...
the defn. of cryin' in my terms: some uncommon...a form of expression when i get horrible bad grades...which helps me to solve almost EVERYTHING...
yup...so u know what i did...it was seriously high time i brokedown ever since thurs...

life's so boring...

jus updated the fitness attendance list...
i come 2 realise tt i mysteriously disappeared for 2 trainings...
one tt i know of....and the other...i can't remem...

2dae's the study econs day..
and here i am...bloggin'..AGAIN...=P

there's no happy stuffz 2 blog abt...
juz tt...my mum bought nice yummy food 2 fatten me up again...
yes...which means tt i'll b runnin' again when sch reopens...

and friendster is taking forever to load...

it seems as if 2dae's sunday...
i hate holidays...
it's boring...
ur mum coops u up into ur room...
when u watch the TV....u get scolded by ur dad....
and..i haven't told my parents bout' my PW....haha...
it's too sucky for me to even face it...
i'm so deaded man...
lyk who in the world will want a student with PW grade 3???

the thing is...i dun realli wana study overseas...
i dun even have faith in overseas universities takin me in....

some reasons y i want to be a rich person
1. i can enjoy life this way..
2. when u're rich...u wun't have 2 worry much bout money problems...
3. i can give my loved ones a gd life...
4. i've loved this side of my life so far...though the money's not mine... =P
5. i don't want a difficult life...

s0me reasons y i don't want to be a you(3) qian(2) ren(2)
1. people always associate rich ppl to rich ppl...and no one else...
2. when u watch TV dramas...the rich ppl r always bad... *so...don't be influenced by the media!!*
3. some people will feel that they are not comparable to rich ppl...and tend nt 2 go near them much....
4. the above people are somtimes ur friends...
5. i don't have the freedom to want what i want...c0s' in the end...ur parents expect u to b rich...
6. then they pressure u to study hard so that u can get a gd job nxt time...
7. i want to be with him...

many thoughts going thru my mind...
but i don't dare to blog it down...
c0s' i know u read my blog...
and i also know...
u don't know i'm talkin' about u...

*the following is for lele*

it juz furstrates and troubles me...
how a person can change overnight...

i still tink that it's a kinda trivial matter...
well..ok..nt tt trivial la...
juz...tt..when everythin' has been said...
shldn't it juz b over???

again...i'm sayin' the same line..
i want 2 help...but i can't...
the only thing i can do is 2 let u seek some solace in me...
i'm so sorry...i can't do much...
but i hope...at least..when u have a listening ear...
and someone you can as well confide in..u'll feel much betta...

probably i'm someone who dosen't realli value half broken friendships as impt as you do...
tt's y i'm always tellin' u 2 forget abt it...
yah...when i was in sec sch...i used 2 have such friendship probs...
and i juz didn't care...lyk wt i tell u...
and we juz ended up as mere strangers for a whole 4 years in the same class...
sometimes its quite tortorous...
but as long as u bother urself with other things...
it's ok man...u'll get over it s0on...
lyk wt jq said...she's nt ur only friend...neither is she your only best friend or wad so eva...

maybe u treasure such stuffz more than i do...
but somtimes...we must learn to let go..for the better...
treat that as a belssing in disguise...
God does things nt bc0s' He feels lyk it...
He does things c0s' He sees a need...
probably He wants you to grow stronger...
probably He wants you to know her true colours...
probably He wants you to grow wiser...
probably He wants you to leave her for better friends...
probably He wants you to know...that you still have ME...

no matter hw bad things r goin...
everythin' wun't be THAT bad...
God will still leave a lil' leaway for us...so that we can breathe...
it's juz lyk prisoners in their prison cells...
they still have a lil' window for them 2 breathe... *haha...u know where i gt this frm rite! =P*
He won't suffocate u...
if not...you would have already went to commit suicide...
BUT...don't die for such trivial matters...
life still has to go on...

this seems lyk a period where everyone ard me is nt leadin' a nice life...
well...i'm not too...
aniwae...there comes a point of time where everyone's life will b so messed up...
we just have to face it...learn frm it....remember it...
then...move on in life...
which stage r u at now??
don't hover too long at each of this 3 stages...if not...u'll never learn anithin'...
don't brood too much about the past...
today is today....
yest is yest...

my senior once told me...
we should live our lives to the fullest..
don't make anithin' bad spoil ur entire life..
ur life is ur own...
choose how u want 2 life it...urself...
don't let others affect ur mood...
u must first b able to influence urself...
b4 u let others influence u...
so..by then...others can't influence u animore...
the main thing is to live a happy life...
it's ok to be sad for a while...
but it's NOT ok to be sad for too long...
it's always the bad things that destroys a person...
and an always happy person that stands out from the rest...

tell urself...there a other ppl out there who wants you...
who needs you...and who will always b there 4 u...
there's a whole load of ppl who can't wait 2 c tt happy smile on ur face...
there's a whole load of ppl who can make u happy...
SO...y nt...juz look at these people...and smile to them...
instead of lookin' at her...and cry to urself??

ok...tt's all i want to say...
i tink i keep repeatin' my points...
i give myslef 24/50 for this compo...c0s' i didn't add in any counter arguments...haha...
but i give myself 100% for wether i can convince u anot...nt realli convince...but wether u will kai qiao...
so...hw many marks will u give me...xin le??

stupid sy...
always treat me so badly...
nowonder i don't lyk u...
haha...
the spacebar oso dun lyk u...
c0s' u keep inflictin' pain on it!!!
haha....

i'm so bored...
i hate PW..
stupid PW results...
so daMn yUcks!
dun lyk...
gt band 3...
yucks yucks yucks..

the neighbourhood dogs r making hell lot of a noise n0w!

aniwae...some updates from the previous post...
tt woman! again k! this time...her target was my dad!
g0sh!
she juz complained and complained bout hw he didn't call her back...
and all sorts of crap u can tink of tt an unreasonable person would say!
ok...then i was askin my dad...u lyk tt nt pissed off one meh?
he didn't say much...
then i was thinkin'...if he didn't lyk my mum so much..i tink they wld have already divorced...lyk ten thousand years ago....
tinkin' 'bout tt...reminds me...tt i've tot bout this lyk i tink when i was in sec sch...
this shows tt..she's bin on my nerves eva since i was thirteen...
haha...i always told myself...
if there were 2 b a divorce..
i'll definitely follow my dad...no matter hw buzie he is in his work...
i can take care of myself...as long as i have the money to do so! =)
haha...den probably i'll eat out almost everyday....
or everyday eat egg n porridge...
which r the onli 2 things i know hwta cook....haha...

i'm so bad h0r...
look at the evil things i tink about! =P
fancy someone wantin' a broken family when others r lyk feelin so sad tt they hav a broken family...
i admit tt when i'm typin this...i'm nt realli tinkin' wholistically...
but...dun care la... =)

my legs r still aching aft mon's sprinting...
sIan!!!
lucky there's no heats tml...if nt i tink i'll juz die...

she's pinning so much hopes on me 2 hlp her solve her prob...
*this she is another she...my friend...*
but..i'm so helpless...
i don't know hw 2 start...
the thing is...it's nt me...
it's her friend...her best friend..
things r sometimes gettin' too overboard...*aft thinkin' for a few mins...i finally found the correct word 2 use...*
yes...i underestimated her friend...
well...aniwae...haha ...the normal me will write...'i shall nt care'...
but...NO...i'll try 2 care...as long as i can...

i found 2dae's GP lesson so related 2 her...
scary rite!....
the only thing is...don't' let it happen again!

i'm so pissed!!!
i hate ppl who keep askin' me qnz...THE SAME EXACT ones...
esp. when i've said tt lyk 2-3 times already...
seems as if i'm an easily pissed person h0r..haha...
dun care!
so angry lah!....
but tt's nt the main thing....
bsides askin' lyk the same qnz over and over again...
she called me stupid!
and they way she says it....
isn't lyk the way SY calls me...or the way i call other ppl...
it's juz so OH MY GOSH...STUPID!

i hate it when she calls ppl stupid...
she nt only calls me stupid...
she calls my maid stupid c0s' she didn't clean the fish properly...
she calls the food seller stupid c0s' the person wrap the food until the egg yolk all come out...
and she called me stupid....f0r i dunnoe wt the hell reason...juz tt i raised my voice!!!!

well...seems lyk a trivial matter....
BUT! mayb c0s' i've always been seen as stupid to her in my entire life ever since i was born...
c0s' i was never on par with my bro...
i was never able to socialise properly...
i was never able to make her happy with my results....
i was never able to make her happy with whatever i was studyin'....
i was never able to make her happy in whatever i do...
i was never able to make her happy in whatever CCA i join...
i was never able to make her happy in whatever early a time i came back...
i was never able to make her happy in whatever things i say...
i was never able to make her happy in whatever friends i made...
juz practially everythin'...

i hated her for passing on such irritatin' genes to me so that i myself is as irritatin' as her...
i hated her for passing on the genes that made me shorter than her...
i hated her for scolding me...
i hated her for looking down on me...
i hated her for addin' pressure on me which made me add pressure on myself....
i hated her for passing me some of the stupid genes she has to make me be unable to be on par with my bro...
i hated her for comparing me with other kids ever since young..*can u iamgine wt i great impact this has given me...so much tt i can still remem. it so clearly...*
i hated her for slapping me and not my bro...eventhough she and my bro wil argue too...
i hated her for lykin' me bro lyk ten thousand times more than she lyks me..
i hated her for showing favouritism to my bro...
i hated her for complainin bout everything to my dad esp when she only gives one sided opinions...
i hated her for hating me...
i hated her for bringing me to live when she didn't want to...*nt tt i'm lyk surprise kid or wad....it's juz tt...since she wanted 2 bring me down here...shldn't she nt make me hate her for so many things??*

i hate people who look down on me...
well...nt realli everyone who looks down on me..
but mainly my family tt looks down on me...
makes me realli zi bei...
i hate it i hate it i hate it so much....
i hate her...
i hate my mum....

my posts these fews days r lyk so LONG...

2dae's a super boring day...
did my morning 'run'...
wasn't realli runnin'...
juz sprinting n walkin'...
then i felt daMn weak...

for almost the rest of the day...
well...it's frm bio lessons onwards...
the sleeply feeling set in...

bio was kinda sian...
she go thru homeostasis...
dun understand...
chem was oso sian...
she did ionic eqm....
i feel asleep durin' the short breaks...
econs tut...was still ok...
at least i cld survive by teachin' ye ye...

i once hated econs so much...
and now i lyk it alot...
though sometimes she tok abt those super i dunnoe and only eugene will know stuffz..haha...
but the basics r still ok la...

dun realli hate ani sub. now...
prob. still juz GP...haha...
unless it's sci n tech! =)

and yes...isn't it ridiculous 2 lose a first aid kit in ur own ROOM??
nt ur hse l0r...uR oWn ROOM!
i realli dunnoe wt happened..and i hope it's juz i tink wrongly...
i tot i had 2 first aid kits wif me...*i hope i tot wrong...*
but i remembered i saw 2 1st aid kits in my bag...*i hope i remembered wrong...*
the thing is...how can i possibly lose a first aid kit in my own pathetic room!!!
g0sh!

changed my blog skin...

aniwae...i juz come here n complain...haha...
while tryin' SO HARD to concentrate on my GP....which is still incomplete since 10am 2dae...
suddenly i heard " he hit my eye!"...daMn!...den the stupid lil' boy *my neighbour* started cryin'...yeps...tt's wt's life in my neighbourhood is lyk...almost everydae...u hear that same cryin...almost everyday u get irritated...*pisseded off*

i wonder if xl and shir's friendship has juz come 2 and end lyk tt...
the way the whole thing has happened...make me can't hlp 2 relate this kinda friendship to a BGR...so the issue now is...have they 'broken up'???
hai...u c...xl cried...yea...then shir cried...seems kinda lyk a break up rite...
dunnoe them la...
up til 2dae..i still dun noe y shir cry...

aniwae...i'm so deaded...
gt quite a lot of work piled up...
thnkz 2 nite cyclin...
and i'm in no mood 2 complete my GP...

if only i can juz blog bout' anithin'..
w/o considering anione's feelings, even mine...
w/o caring wt ppl will feel, think and say...
w/o the need 2 protect anione's rights...

and...i juz realised tt..
i've gt a affinity for adults...haha...
i juz so love talkin 2 adults...
prob. tt's y...i cld communicate wif jeremy and nt wif J1s...
i don't know y....it's bin lyk this since young...
always liked adult talk...always wanted 2 join in their conversations...always get fed-up and sad when i get scolded to mind my own business if i wanted 2 join in...
lyk the only adults i don't enjoy talking to will be my parents and my anuties n uncles...
c0s' they hurt me since young...c0s' they didn't welcome me into their conversations...c0s' the didn't leave a gd impression on me...c0s' they didn't want me.... ....
it's kinda relaxing....talking 2 adults...
though i don't have much adults to talk to...it juz feels more fun...
compared 2 talkin to ppl lyk woeilin...tt's an OH MY GOSH! talking 2 wl will make ur blood boil...nt bc0s' she's irritatin or wad...juz tt...she and i will engage in evil talk...haha...sometimes it's quite fun...but sometimes i hate myself for doin' so...esp when i get carried away...then comes talking with the half adult, sy....haha..i only intelligent talked to her once...then our usual talks will be childish, immature, stupid, lame, whiny...haha...quite funny la...tt's the only way 2 keep myself happy...
then there's the beRn beRn talk...nuthin' v.amazing...juz tt...it's oso quite whiny...c0s' beRn beRn always wana act cute..haha...
then the xiu yuan talk...the most complex talk..haha....c0s' she keep asking v.weird funnie complex qnz...tt i can seldom answer...
then the XL talk...which now has bcum a 'ren shen dao li' talk...c0s' she needs much consloing..
then the bRan talk...the only guy tt i can talk to alot....he's my only source of fitness complains(well nt realli fitness complains...juz tt when i've probs relatin' 2 fitness i'll juz go to him..)...bsides SY(which dosen't want 2 b my source of fitness complains soon)...so..bran..if u read my blog...hope u can juz con't 2 b this source....if nt...i tink i'll break down sooner or later...c0s' SY dosen't want me animore...s0bx!
lastly....the heon talk...haha...a v.special talk c0s' we don't talk!...yEps...we write letters to one another...2 communicate..c0s' we seldom meet in sch...

this post suddenly bcum into a post on the diff. kinda talks i engage in...haha...
2 adults(ms lee's friends) can juz change ur whole impression on adults...lyk how amazing...mayb i generalise too much ba....but still i love talking to adults... =)

b4 i start wif nite cycling...
let me announce to everyone tt...
on FRiday, 7th April 2006
was the first time...in my whole lifetime...eatin' kinder surprise..ahha...
it's the kinder buneo thing...tt comes in a egg shape with toys inside...haha...

2dae...i juz totally slpt lyk a pig...
i tot i wld juz slp frm 9.30 until 3 plus...
but by the time i woke up....it was already 5!
so shocked!!!
den...i still con't slpin'...c0s' i juz cldn't bring myself to get outta bed...haha...
but the worst was...when i was slpin..
dunno at abt wt time...suddenly rain until v.heavy...
so scary l0r...
the thunder so loud until as if there's a war goin on la!
sounded lyk bombings...haha...

nite cycling was ok...
but we cocked up alot....
go wrong directions...
didn't bring our equipments...
and those shit stuffz la...

time for me 2 complain again...
there's some stupid J1 gurl..that came out frm nowhere...
nt even fitness one...
nt tt i dun wan her 2 join...
i juz dun lyk her c0s' she lyk want 2 act zai...
always wana overtake me...
gd for her man..
c0s' she cannot overtake me...
if she did tt...she wldn't know where 2 go...
so she onli overtook me in the park connecetors area...
so pisseded off la....
if she were fitness one...i will happily let her overtake me..haha...
but...SHE's NOT! *super irritated*
so in the end let xukun lead...

aft tt....Ms lee wanted 2 ride....so i let her ride...
den i went into the safety vehicle...haha...
so shuang!
but really l0r....
drivin tt thing daMn xin ku...
haha..sometimes tt jeremy oso nvr step on the accelerator...
tt's lyk the speed at which we are cyclin!...
actually was v.scared tt i cldn't socialise much wif jeremy and the J1....
but i was quite shocked myself...
c0s' i did manage 2 talk quite a lot...haha...
realli nice communicating wif jeremy...
though he's nt v.funni or wad...
juz hen hao jiang hua...
UNLIKE christel..!!haha...
the fitness J1...
i tink i juz gt a prob. wif her...
and the prob. is me...haha...
so...heck...nvr ask me go socialize wif her animore...

tt was basically nite cycling....
oh yes...
and stupid brandon...*sry 4 always calling u stupid...haha...i'm juz used 2 it already...and it sounds nice on u! haha....*
called me a hobbit....<-- the spellin correct??
haha...aniwae...u enuff hor!
everydae tok u...u everyday sae i short...

which reminds me...
durin' BBQ on fri....
i realli kinda felt left out...
dne i was thinkin'...
mayb it's c0s' i'm short...
which makes me more insignificant...
well...gd thing BBQ was short...
if nt i tink i wldn't have survived...

and...last thing...went back 2 sch 2 put the BBQ stuffz..
haha..get to go into the staff rm another time...
haha...i wonder y i make it sound so amazing...going into the staff rm...
wells...aniwae..SY....i saw u!!! and guitar...dunnoe playin' wad...
u all seem 2 have a lot of ppl...
so if it's realli gt a lot of J1s....
i'm happy 4 u...

ok...enuff of this camp...
let's get back 2 my RESULTS...
happy things first....
i love my econs...haha...
i actually gt a C...
i can't believe it man!
when i've always been failing straight lyk for the past yr...
though it's nt a v.gd grade...
at least...it's no more Es or Os or Fs...

tt's lyk onli 1 happy thing...
sad things...
bio and chem was a C onli...
and those boderline C...
so...wasn't v.glad bout tt...

den comes maths and tt freaking F!
luckily they moderated...
and a bcame one of the 40% passes...haha...
so tt's an E...

and GP...was a C5...
ok la...standard...

so this means tt my points is i tink 49...
lyk eeks...i tink if it were 50...den it looks nicer....
but well...at least it's nt lyk 30 plus...or lower...

den comes the sub dropping thing...
well...i'm still nt gonna drop...
if nt it'll b maths...haha..
so...yah...no choice but to stick to my decision already...
but now...i fight the econs battle alone...
sy and xy left me ALL ALONE...
but well...it's their decision...
i cna't stop them...esp. for such stuffz...
hope they do well for their 3 subz l0r...
well..i tink they surely do well one..

i've lyk...gt so much..yet i've nuthin' 2 say...
well...i passed GP...but my grade is lyk awfully horrible...
waitin' 4 econs n bio...
i hope i pass bio essay man!
i realli studied hard 4 tt...

aniwae...tml will b another boring day...
i dun even noe wt i have tml...haha...
utterly lazie 2 type minutes 2dae...
i juz wana slack slack slack my life off...
i tink some ppl will b daMn shocked 2 see me sayin this...
ok...i take back half my words...

haha...now i know wt i can study...
medcine....realli...
it's nt juz a want 2 study...
but a need...
yuppers....
a NEED...
well...c0s' it's organic chem stuffz...
and i lyk it...

but...i oso wana cut ppl up...
haha...i'm so confused...
aniwae...i tink i shld seriously get some gd results b4 tinkin' abt these unrealistic goals again...

wl....i'm lyk so buzified juz n0w...
den haven finish bloggin'...
well..i juz wana blog some crap...
but i dun noe wt 2 blog abt...
some things cannot b blogged here....
4 fear of ppl seeing them...
nt tt i'll b gossipin bout ppl...
but tt i'll b lyk throwing out my innermost feelings and endangering myself...

lim seems 2 lyk christel quite a lot....well...to a certain extent lah....
but...aft a short interaction with her 2day...
i felt quite turned OFF...
haha...nt 2 sucha large extent...
but...she juz didn't give me a gd impression...
prob. i'm lyk over sensitive...
but...1st impressions still count...

oh yah...ran stupid 2.4 2dae...
i dunnoe y...i'm so crazified...
i juz ran lyk mad...
well...i din even realise tt i was goin tt fast...
it's felt v.moderate...and lyk normal....
c0s' i wanted 2 go faster..
in the end...fast until my timing bcame lyk 13 mins onli...
and at the end...i wanted 2 chiong one...
but had this horrible...terrible...super pain stitch...
pain until i cldn't con't running and had 2 walk la....

den aft sch...had fitness...
run again ...
i almost juz felt lyk killing myself halfway thru the run...
c0s' the pain came back again...
all thnkz 2 bran lah....
take them outside....
den run so fast..haha...
but in the end i oso walk...=P

guys r juz so horrible man...!!!
mayb tt's juz their nature...
everiday onli know hwta look out 4 chio gurls...
esp. fitness ppl ...haha...

i have super bad memo....
i once again... 4gt my hp no..haha...
and even gave shirlyn wrong no...haha....
i onli can remem the last 4 no...
den always mix up the first 4...

ok...i'm done sayin' so much le la...
go and slp liao...=)

ok...2da's lyk so sian...
rain rain rain...
i hate cum lyk rainy days...
i dun lyk the lightnings..
but i lyk the temp...

had some econs case study BT prime...
it was lyk...wt the hell r they askin' for the last qnz...
and ...wt the hell was i writing for the last qnz..
haha...well...i'm glad 2 say...i've lyk passed my econs w/o countin DRQ...
but...the thing is...wt's the defn. of pass??
it's a freaking horrible E...
lyk so YUCKS...
i hope my drq will b able 2 make it 2 a D...
can't imagine man...DRQ....
my DRQ sucked la...

to xin le:
well...sometimes there will come a point in time in ur life...*many points in fact*...
whereby everythin's juz nt goin your way....
the thing is...nothin' is perfect in this world...
take this as one of the many tests GOD wants to put you through...
to make you a much stronger person...
wiser...and also more mature...*u seriously need 2 b more mature!! haha...*
aniwae...mayb you cld try 2 find out wt's wrong...
probably tt may solve the prob...if she's willing to share...
look at the amt. of ren shen dao li i have...haha...
and i feel tt i sound so christian...
g0sh!
i MUST EMPAHSISE...
i am not a christian
haha...tml gt free time...if can let's g0 church k...
and one more time... i'm nt a chirstian...

so happy...Zhi Yang w0n...
xpectin' him 2 win...
lucky he win...

aniwae...hope tml's bio SPA is nt too shitty...
hmm...and i tink i'll stay back 4 econs xtra lessons...
juz 2 c wt tips they'll giv...
c0s' i completely nvr realli touch much of econs durin' the whole wkend...on acc. tt i slpt for the whole sat...

my legs r still pain!!!
dun wana run tml one..
but c0s' i'm lyk so desperate 2 get out of TAF fast..
i'll go run run a lil' tml...

i can't imagine man!
hoping for the day i get out of TAF...
it's such a burden 2 b in TAF...

aniwae...wish myself luck for bio spa tml..
and i still have yet to go pray for him in a church...
but at least i did yest...at home...
mayb the extend tt i'm goin' may seem too much
but i don't care...
sometimes it's good 2 suffer...
but if your suffering is prolonged....
it gets juz so horrible...
well...life's juz THIS UNFAIR...

2dae...i finally felt the presence of my hamstrings...
usually when i stretch my hamstrings, i don't feel the stretch..
2dae...i can't even lift my legs up 90 degrees lah...

my 6 takeaways after 2dae's dry run...
1) having PE esp. super shiong ones....like circuit training for 30 mins plus...before night cycling is HIGHLY INADVISABLE..
and also, HIGHLY TORTUROUS
yest i cycled until my legs now numb le...and PAIN...
2) and cycling with Benjamin in the same group as you, together with ur half disabled legs is HORRENDOUS...c0s' u will juz lag behind until you come to a slope...
3) cycling in front of Brandon is HIGHLY DANGEROUS c0s' when u stop...he'll collide into you...my leg still hurts...=Xx..
4) cycling behind Brandon is ALSO HIGHLY DANGEROUS c0s' sometimes...when he stops...u'll also collide into him...
5) pairing up with Xu Kun is HIGHLY HORRIFYING, c0s' there's 99% chance of getting lost in the route if u listen to him.
6) riding with Zheng Cai is HIGHLY SCARY c0s' u ride faster than the cars at a point of time, and sometimes u end up seeing him fly...though i didn't c...

the opp. cost of doing this dry run...will mainly be my econs BT 1 prime - case study...
i'm so dead...aft this...i'll still con't slpin'...

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